Fear is a complex emotion.  One one hand, it keeps us “safe” from danger and forces us to think smarter.  On the other hand, it paralyzes us and causes us to miss opportunities or even sabotage our own happiness.  We fear God, we fear death, we fear snakes, we fear heights, we fear the unknown, we fear being alone.  How do we differentiate the “good fear” from the “bad fear”?  

We need to, first, separate these two types of fear, by using two different words to categorize them.  The bad fear, we will continue referring to as “fear”.  The other fear deserves a better word.  I like the word “respect".  When we respect something, we are more careful around it.  We give it the space that it needs because we recognize that if we act inappropriately around it, then we might get hurt.  When we respect a snake, we keep our distance and move with care.  When we respect heights, we are very deliberate in our actions, making sure we have good footholds and are holding on tight.  When we respect God, we act in reverence to him and are sure to keep his commandments.  Respect not only keeps us safe, but we are able to accomplish many things when we have proper respect.  

Fear doesn’t do us any good.  Fear makes us clumsy, unintelligent, and hesitant.  Fear paralyzes us and may even endanger us.  When we fear a snake, we scream, run and make noise that makes the snake more likely to react defensively.  When we fear heights, our hands sweat, we shake and fumble, and we freeze up, unable to move up or down.  When we fear a relationship, we say or do things that will get us out of the situation, hurting ourselves and others, causing regret along the way.  

How do we get rid of fear then?  We need to understand that when we experience fear, the body produces certain chemicals (adrenal hormones such as cortisol), the heartbeat speeds up, and the body prepares itself for action (fight or flight).  It is interesting to note, that all of the same reactions occur, down to the same brain impulses, when we experience the emotion of excitement.  For all intents and purposes, fear is the same emotion as excitement.  The only difference between the two is that when you are experiencing fear, you are looking towards the future and expecting the worst to happen.  When you experience excitement, you are looking towards the future and expecting the best to happen.  Because of this, fear causes you to freeze, making you unwilling to move towards doom and gloom, whereas excitement drives you towards happiness, thrills, and new opportunities.  When you are excited, you weigh the risks against the benefits and see that the benefits are worth the risks.  

How, then, do you turn fear into excitement?  First, identify what you are afraid of.  Next, acknowledge that you already know what can go wrong, in fact, the fact that you are feeling fear confirms that you have already thought of almost every negative possibility around the subject.  Stop.  Turn it around.  Ask: What could go right?  Start listing off everything that could possibly go right in this situation.  Start small and build from there.  Explore every possible positive avenue.  If you catch yourself going negative or playing devil’s advocate with yourself, stop! (The devil doesn’t need an advocate).  You’ve already considered those possibilities, now it is time to consider the other side, the positive side.  As you do this, you will begin noticing the fear transforming into excitement.  

At the worst, you have a 50/50 chance of the good or the bad occurring.  Ask yourself if your efforts are worth anything.  Have you ever been able to influence the outcome of any event in your favor?  (Spoilers: You have.  You probably would have died a long time ago if you haven’t).  Now, if your efforts are worth anything, and you are working for your own good, how much more likely are the good outcomes to occur?  Logically, if you are willing to work at all for good outcomes, you have more than a 50% chance of that good occurring.  If you think logically, optimism is the only thing that makes sense.  Isn’t that exciting!  If you believe in God, and believe that He has your best interest in mind, then that tips the scale even more in your favor!  In many cases, the word “faith” can be substituted for “excitement”.  (Go back and reread this article, using faith instead of excitement if you are interested in that.)  

If you move forward with excitement instead of fear and bad things still occur, make sure that you are still exercising proper respect for your situation, then reevaluate and find the exciting opportunities that can be gleaned from your situation and continue moving forward.   Expect the best while preparing for the worst.  Respect will keep you prepared.  Excitement will keep you moving forward while ushering in the best possibilities!  You may even find that, when you are prepared, dealing with the things you have prepared for can be an exciting experience.